i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Randomize
