Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Randomize
