I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Randomize
