You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Randomize
