i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
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