I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
i love accidental penises.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
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