he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Randomize
