did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
