Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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