There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Randomize
