Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
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