Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
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