...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
