So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Randomize
