spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
party gras won. party gras always wins.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
