Fine. I'll sleep in my office
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Randomize
