Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Randomize
