the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
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Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
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my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
I'm like, not good at living.
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