Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Randomize