My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
There was a lot of him and a little penis
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
