so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
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There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
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I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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