i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Why is your signature on my underwear?
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Randomize
