My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
