I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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