I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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