it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Randomize
