Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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