Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
