Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
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