i just had sex bonerless
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
