if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
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He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
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doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
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