I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
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