we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
There was a lot of him and a little penis
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
