There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
I enjoy the company of your penis
Randomize