hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
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Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
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Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Randomize