All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
he was CRYING into my vagina
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Randomize
