Are we in a gay sports bar?
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
