Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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