If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
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