So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
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he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
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Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?