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• (314): View more from Missouri

  I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.

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• (405): View more from Oklahoma

  you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.

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• (585): View more from New York

  complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.

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• (509): View more from Washington

  My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.

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  You Wouldn’t Guess That These 25 Celebrities Are Complete A**holes

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (573): View more from Missouri

  You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.

  (816): View more from Missouri

  Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.

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• (845): View more from New York

  I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass

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• (763): View more from Minnesota

  Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.

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• (509): View more from Washington

  I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.

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• (813): View more from Florida

  Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.

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• 

  27 Of The Most NSFW Life Hacks

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (651): View more from Minnesota

  Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"

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• (250): View more from British Columbia

  all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.

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• (517): View more from Michigan

  how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind

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• (949): View more from California

  Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.

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• (757): View more from Virginia

  I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?

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• (541): View more from Oregon

  Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live

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