I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Randomize
