I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.