Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
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