The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I CAN MOONWALK!
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Dating After Heartbreak
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
These Images Prove Chrissy Teigen is the Funniest Model Alive
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
We are all done wearing pants today
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.