he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
25 People Reveal The Creepiest Kids They Went to School With
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
17 Subtle Body Language Signs That Reveal A Lot About Someone
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro