also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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