I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
