Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Randomize