smell my finger.
either way he was missing a nipple.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
