Ambien. No doubt about it.
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Randomize
