Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
