im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, beer. Big fan.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize