i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Randomize