i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...