i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
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My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.