Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.