I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
