The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
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