I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
In other news, I just burned my penis
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
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