saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
