Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Randomize
