im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize