TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
