I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
